Category Archives: How to make true friends and change the world

Make it a safe place Week 6

Hey our friend

2013-05-23 15.09.49San Francisco summer is in full swing for a few more weeks which is really nice, since it brings us lots of sunshine. Thanks for your prayers against my cough. It got a lot better. During the last week we had the chance to spend time with many new friends of the neighborhood. We also had good times at the coffee shop. Please keep us in your prayers in this season for clear guidance on what things to do and what things not to do ministry wise. Thanks for all your prayers.

Make it a safe place Week 6

During the last 5 weeks we talked about Prayer, how to get yourself on a solid foundation, how to build solid friendships, Encouragement and how to invite them to your home. This week we want to talk about a safe place. The best foundation for any friendship is trust. Trust is being built over time but also needs a safe place to grow. So it’s really important that your dinners are a place of openness and safety. Make it clear with your new friends that things that are shared in here aren’t going out to the public (Facebook etc.). Our culture and media is all about gossip and making fun of others, so it is important to set clear guidelines early. When you notice that people start being sarcastic with each other, encourage them to have a more positive and uplifting conversation with each other. I know sarcasm is a big part in our today’s society but often we are not aware of the fact that people are actually getting hurt by it and start closing themselves up. Also another important thing is that you open up and share about your life. That will open a door for others to share and being vulnerable. When they share make sure to listen and try to understand what is going in their lives. Also make sure that no one makes funny comments about things they are going through. Another important point is to make sure that you don’t share too deep things too fast. If you do that, it might scare people away. Share each week a little bit more and go each week a little bit deeper so people get used to it. But don’t feel it is a required thing either; sometimes it’s just not the right time to share. As more you keep going in that direction as more depth you will have in your dinner times and as deeper and stronger of a foundation will be build. You are the one who set the tone how things are going.

When you look at the story of the adulteress (John 8.1-10) that was about to be stoned you see how Jesus put safety around her. He knew what was going on in her life and who she was. Instead of knocking her down he showed everybody else in the crowd that none of them was perfect either. And at the end he tells her that He will not condemn her either but instead challenged her to live a sin free life. When we share openly about faults in our own life it breaks down the thinking many have of Christians as being hypocrites and being better than anyone else. It will give people the chance to start seeing the truth about Jesus and that he came to save the sick and not the healthy.

Think about how you can implement all of that into your group or future group and ask God to give you clear revelation on how and what to share.

Have a blessed week

Markus and Jen

 

Invite them home Week 5

Hey our friend

2013-05-18 15.29.10A busy but wonderful week went by in like no time. We had coffee shop meetings with a wonderful bible study, great moments with events at the Italian community center, a meeting with a community organizer from the city and a wedding of our good longtime friend Mikel and Tami. Another great thing we did last week was prayer times were many Christians from San Francisco covered all the different intersections of the city. We started inviting Gods presence and the Holy Spirit into those places so that people will be touched by Gods love and hope. We want to encourage you to get the different churches in your town together and to do the same.

Invite them Home

This week we want to talk about how to further your new build friendships. After you had your new friends over at your house for a shorter time like a coffee time where you got to know them better, organize a dinner where you invite all 6 of them together. Make sure to pray before the people come and invite the Holy Spirit to guide the night. People that are coming to a home always feel more special because they are invited in your personal space. When you do that make sure to stir conversation between all the new friends. Its really important to start helping them build relationships between each other. That way they are always connected and things are not totally depending on you. A dinner together at a dining table is a great way to do that. When you look at Jesus and his life you see many times how he used a dinner to connect with people in a deeper way. You will have interactions between different people and you are also able to move a conversation in a certain direction. Make sure to have those dinners as a time of encouragement and hope. If you notice that the conversation is just going in a negative direction move it back to an encouraging and loving conversation. You are the host and the one that can help to make those dinners a place of hope. Pray and think about ways on how to make those nights exciting. Maybe go with a special theme like a Mexican theme with tacos and Mexican music. Be creative. Dinners like that will help you to go into a deeper relationship with your new friends.

Have a blessed week

Markus and Jen

Encouragment brings Courage Week 4

Hello our friend

2013-05-12 12.26.49We are so blessed to have you in our life!! Friends are a true blessing from God. During our last week we started talking about another alpha course here in North Beach. We are praying about the timing. Please pray with us for Gods guidance. We are also moving into the summer season with more interns which is a big help. Through that we are able to help the boys and girls club in a deeper way which is a huge blessing. Last weekend we celebrated our 1 year anniversary and it was awesome. God brought us so much closer together over the last year. He is so faithful. We absolutely love it to be married.

Week 4 Encouragement

“Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.” 1. Thessalonians 5:11

Over the last week we looked at different ways on how to make true friends and change the world. We talked about Prayer, how to look at ourselves and things we have to change and last week how to build friendships. This week we want to talk about encouragement. When you look at todays times and all the negativity we get presented with on a daily base you see more and more the need of encouragement. Many times I hear people that are telling others more about how they didn’t do good instead of telling them areas where they did really good. What about you start doing that with the new friends? Speak words that give life to them. As an example if someone has a beautiful garden compliment them on that. Or if you saw one of your new friends when they look sad, spend time to listen to them. Let God guide you in how to encourage people. Pray and ask for the best way to encourage one of your new friends. You might be the only person that ever speaks life in to them. True encouragement can help a person to become more of who they are. Practice Encouragement with some good friend, spouse etc. and start doing it daily. As more you practice as easier it becomes and as more it becomes something you do automatically.

Have a blessed week

Markus and Jen

Build relationships and connect Week 3

Hey our friend

We hope you had a wonderful week. During the last week we visited one of our neighborhood friends in the hospital which was a wonderful time. He was so happy seeing us. Also another guy we work with gave his life to Jesus which is amazing. Praise God. Keep him in your prayers since he is in a growing season now. My (Markus) neck is also better but I have really bad allergies right now which give me a very strong cough and steal quite a lot of my sleep. Please pray for healing in that area. Next weekend Jen and I are celebrating our 1 year anniversary. Wow that year of marriage flew by so fast. We are so thankful for Gods faithfulness in our life and for giving us so much wonderful time with each other. We both love being married. It is amazing especially since we had a great foundation as best friends.

wedding

Build relationships and connect Week 3

During the last 2 weeks we talked about the importance of prayer and the importance of dealing with the stuff in our own life. Today we want to talk about how to build relationships. What is the best way to start a relationship with people? I don’t think there is one answer to that but instead there are many different ways, but one thing that is the same with each of them is to spend time with the people. So to start a relationship with the neighbors you need to spend time with them. You could as an example invite them over for a coffee. When you invite them over for the first time make it more of a casual and short thing so they can leave whenever they want to. We found out through doing ministry for years that it takes a bit of time to have someone over for a dinner but they are always open for a coffee. Also another good way to get connected is just to talk to them in the hallway, over the fence or however that looks like in your living situation. Another good way is to go grocery shopping together. Invite them to come with you grocery shopping that saves money for both of you but also gives you great conversation time on the car ride to the store. When we connect with people it’s really important to be real. Be genuinely interested  in their lives and who they are. Remember when Jesus talked about the second command; love your neighbor as you love yourself.  When we look at that we see that all our approaches need to come out of love.
These are just a few examples to connect. Use them to brainstorm to find the best way to connect for you.
Have a blessed week.
Markus and Jen

Make sure you have a solid foundation Week 2

Hey our friend

We hope your last week was a good one. During the last week we had great meetings at the coffee shop as well as with the staff. I Markus ended up having some issues with my neck which got fixed by a chiropractor friend. It is such a blessing having people like that in our life. We were also able to talk more as a staff about how to move forward with the different ministries we are doing in North Beach. Please keep praying for Gods guidance for that.

Week 2 Make sure you have a solid foundation

Last week we were talking in our series “How to change the world and find true friends “about the fact that praying will open a door into their lives. This week we want to talk a about you. One thing I learned in my almost 10 years of ministry with YWAM is the importance of relationship with other believers and a church. I saw people that went home after a great time in missions and then almost lost their faith. Why? Because they didn’t have a place to get refilled by God. To be able to reach out to others you also need a place of refreshment and refilling. First of all you need your personal time with Jesus which can be anytime during your day. Read your bible, pray and just spend time in His presence. Make it a set time and make a habit out of it. That way it won’t be taken out of the schedule just because life gets busier. Second you need a small group from your church where you regularly go to. In a small group setting people can really help you personally to grow as well as help each other with challenges in life. Third have a church you are regularly going to. Jen and I have a church in the city were we are going to. Every time we go we feel refreshed and ready for a new week. We also were able to find wonderful friends there as well.

If you don’t have some of those things on a regular basis in your life make sure to find them. It will help you to move forward.

Have a blessed week

Markus and Jen